Stand By Me
by Omni-chan
Summary: He would stand alone, even when he had nothing to stand on.


ok ok...I know I need to update other works rather than writing new ones. Buuuuuuuuuut! Inoshi so kindly put up a challenge in the NFF kakanaru fanclub. And well this was my attempt. I must say the fiction turned out nice...but the attempt failed. This has turned into a major emo/angst fic. Sorry Inoshi!

Though I still think I did a fairly nice job on this piece. One shot, enjoy!

All characters of Naruto and the other things blah blah Kishimoto blah blah.

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_Hands slammed down on desk and the jounin seethed visibly. His one eye glinting dangerously as he stared at the younger lower ranked man. The other, a chuunin with a scar on his nose studied the silver haired man cautiously. His own hands clenching and unclenching in vibrant anger_

_"Hatake-san." He spat out through pursed lips. "I would advise you to remove your hands from my desk. I have papers to grade." The silver haired jounin ignored him and leaned in further, now beginning to tremble with anger._

_"In fact," the chuunin continued "It would be best for you to leave my classroom all together." Growling now the jounin grabbed the chuunin by his vest, raising him out of his chair roughly._

_"Don't you ever! And I mean ever touch Naruto again! Do you understand?" The jounin hissed "He is mine now and I don't take to kindly to him being reminded about past events." The chuunin smirked lightly and freed himself from the jounin's grip._

_"So that is what this is about, Hatake-san." His words dripped with sickly sweet honey. He stepped from behind his desk and casually stepped towards the jounin. "If Naruto truly wanted to be with you, there would be no need for jealousy." He pushed a finger roughly into the jounin's chest._

_"Perhaps I still have a chance with him, then." That had been the straw that broke the camel's back with a snarl, he pulled his arm back ready to punch the man._

_"Umino!" He snarled as he began to swing his arm forward._

_"Kakashi-sensei!" the bright voice jolted the man and he spun around, his current opponent forgotten. He blushed and looked away sheepishly._

_"I..uh..I uh…" He couldn't really apologize. Didn't know where to begin. Hell he even thought he was in the right here. Ever since Naruto and himself started living together, that prick- Umino Iruka- had been moving in on the boy. _

_"Save it." Barked out the blonde his usual serene face a cloud of anger and irritation. None too gently he grabbed the older man by the arm beginning to steer him from the room. At the door, he glanced back at Iruka._

_"What we had in the past is done. Now please refrain yourself from upsetting Kakashi-sensei any further. I still respect you and love you. But the past is in the past." His eyes moved away from the scar nosed chuunin to stare up at the jounin before. "Please remember that Kakashi-sensei. The past is the past. We, us…is the now and that is what matters."_

That had been six months ago. And as he had walked out the door, with Naruto clinging to his elbow, he had convinced himself that it was forever. Naruto had stolen his heart and he truly had believed he had stolen Naruto's. Harshly he blinked back tears as he stared at a familiar name on a cold stone slab. Uchiha Obito. He wondered what his lazy teammate would say to him, if he were still alive. Probably something along the lines of "Sorry, Kakashi, I forgot." Bastard was always late or forgetting things. But maybe if Obito was still alive, he wouldn't be feeling so lonely right now.

Eight months. They had been together for eight months. That was almost a year. And for a shin obi that is a long time. Especially when you are the shin obi known as the copy nin. Eight months he had given his heart and soul all to Naruto. Eight months and that asshole goes and throws it all away. He didn't care though. Shinobi were cold, heartless and unfeeling people. And he was a model shin obi. He did not care that his heart had not only been broken, but ripped out, crushed and then stomped on. No, he did not fucking care. In fact he did not care so much that he took only death related mission whether the Hokage assigned them to him or not. Hell he did not care at all!

_"Naruto…" the silver haired man shifted on the bed, placing one arm under his head and the other over his blonde lover._

_"Kakashi, I am not in the mood." whispered the blonde as he removed the older man's arm from his waist. Kakashi frowned and propped himself up with one elbow._

_"You are never in the mood, but this is not what it is about." He stated a bit curtly, causing the blonde teen to open his eyes and scowl over at him. "You were looking at him again. I am not blind you know. I see more than most people see. I think perhaps it would be best if you stop hanging out with him so much." Naruto hmphed and sat up, facing the wall, back towards Kakashi._

_"I was not giving him any looks. And I will not stood hanging out with him because you are insecure." the teen spat before standing and walking out of the room. Kakashi flopped onto his back and covered his face with his hands. He was insecure, but damn it all to hell Naruto gave him good reasons to be insecure. Especially when he was always with -that- man._

_He had never really been comfortable with the fact that Naruto and that man had been in a relationship. Umino Iruka-that name tasted bitter in his mouth and felt dirty on his lips. Iruka had been Naruto's first. First everything. First friend, first person to acknowledge him, first kiss, first love, his first time. Iruka had taken Naruto's virginity. To say he had taken it badly - when Naruto confessed about his relationship with Iruka - would have been an understatement. But he thought, ok that was all in the past, right? That they were the present and future._

Fuck that future. He didn't want to think about stupid fantasies. That is what the future is anyway stupid fantasies. And he had stopped believing in fantasies a long time ago. But Naruto…Naruto had made him dream again, had made he desire to seek fantasies. Simple pleasures, simple pleasures was all that he had wanted for his fantasy. To come home from every mission and knowing that the blonde would be waiting for him or at least coming home from his own mission soon enough. That wasn't too much to ask right? All he wanted was to not spend his missions fucking worrying whether or not his blonde kitsune was taking hits from behind from anyone but himself. Too not have that hard knot in his stomach when he walked back into the village and saw his blonde looking all cozy with another man. He was god damned fucking sure it was not too hard to ask for.

Death, that was all he wanted know death. He wasn't sure if he wanted death for himself or for that bastard chuunin, Iruka. But he was sure he wanted death for someone. Perhaps he was the reason Naruto left. He had been a bit possessive and maybe just a bit jealous. Perhaps he had came on too strong. Maybe he should have backed off and just trusted Naruto.

Feh, he knew all that to be a lie as well. He had eased up, near the end, he had laid off on the accusations. Hell he didn't even follow Naruto secretly wherever he went. He didn't play twenty questions whenever the teen went out. He just trusted him. But then…then…one night. No he didn't want to think about that. Good memories, that is what he wanted good memories.

"_Hn.." that voice, he knew that voice. He knew it so well. Had often heard that voice whispering in his ear early in the morning. Reminding him not to be late. Heard that voice sometime mid afternoon shouting in his ear about him being late and a liar. Heard that voice countless times moaning into his ear, begging for more. He frowned as he halted and listened for that voice again. Why was that voice out here? He let a small smile slip unto his features. Was that voice, perhaps out here to surprise him? That idea pleased him immensely and he listened again for the voice._

_"hnn…please! Aw!" the voice called out again and the silver haired jounin began to move towards it. His pants already beginning to feel tight. He licked his lips in at the thought of the blonde writhing beneath him, hands curling into the dirt. That image was almost enough to send him over the edge, his bit his bottom lip as he tried to banish the thought from his mind. He just needed to be patient, he knew that his blonde was just a few more steps away._

_He stopped, no he froze. He froze and almost died. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. All he could do was hear and see. He didn't want to hear though. And he didn't want to see. He felt himself sinking to the ground, felt his body double over. Tasted the acid from his stomach as he retched whatever the hell he had in there. His own hands-not the blonde's- where the ones that curled into the dirt. No no no no no! Damn it! No! Acid again burning his throat, leaving a rotting taste in his mouth. No! _

_The way he moved, moaned, writhed. No! Again, his body doubled over, even when he thought he had nothing left in his stomach. A dry heaving sob ripped through his body as the bile dribbled down his chin. This…this…them, fuck! What about them! What about what they have? Was it nothing? Was his own heart nothing? Damn him! He shivered despite the evening heat. He wanted to move-no- to wake up. This had to be a nightmare. He had just convinced himself that his jealous was unfounded. That Naruto loved him. Damn him!_

_"More! Yes oh god more!" Naruto screamed out tearing Kakashi's heart with each punctuated syllable. And the other man-goddamn him- with every thrust of his hips, he ripped the torn heart of the scarecrow more and more out of his body and ground into the earth. Naruto…Iruka…he had promised. In the past. Promised. Forever. Damn him!_

Kakashi swallowed the bile that rose in his throat. Always that memory made him feel sick. He held a fisted hand up near his heart wondering why it seem to always ache. He closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe slowly. His breathing also always seemed to come in short gasps whenever he thought of that memory.

He let his hand drop slowly down to his side as he walked out of the Hokage's office. His nose like always buried in the latest Icha Icha book. And as always not reading a single word of it. It was his cover, his security blanket. He had so many of those. His hite-ate, his mask and his book. Security blankets. The constants in his life the things that never changed. He enjoyed, relished, loved the constants. When life was always changing, he loved the things that stayed the same. They were his anchor in this world. They were the things that stood by him. Like Naruto was suppose to have done. Stand by him forever.

Yes he loved his constants, especially when he say them together. Saw them smiling at each other. A teasing touch here, a promising touch there. That look in Naruto's eyes. The one once used for him. His security blankets were excellent for hiding his face. The rage that flashed in his eyes as the two locked lips. The gnashing of his teeth, the tears. All were hidden by his security blankets. He would never let on that he was jealous. Because-damn him-he did not care. He didn't need anyone to stand by him. Especially a certain blonde. Even if that meant he would never have anything to stand on again.

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It seems so short now doesn't it? heh...sorry sorry. Hope you guys enjoyed reading it!


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